brokenndowninside

2007-04-27T20:48:00.000+08:00

'if u see us in the club, you'll be acting real nice. if u see us on the floor, you'll be watching all night.. we aint here to hurt nobody, (so give it to me,give it to me)wanna see you work ur body. (so give it to me,give it to me)'
wahahahs.. so long never blog le.. dunno why i chose to blog back here again. kekes. now im working admin at a jewelry shop, mon - sat. BUT! today i not feeling well so came back early. ^^ now im better, im back to watchin MTVs on youtube. =D blah blah blah. im missing my sweetie. >.< 1 WHOLE WEEK NEVER SEE HIM! kekes. break record. but its okay, things gotta stay this way. =) tml is saturday!~ im only working half day till 2pm on every sat. so i guess i'll be browsing for books to study den meet him at night.
feel so upset, every morning i take bus to the mrt going to work, i see so many pple my age going to school at the poly. and this morning i even saw my pri sch fren studyin in NYP. o.o he mus be in yr 2 le ba. i am so so so so so so behind everyone and this feeling sux.
work is fun so far, the pple there are nice. at least towards me. i've learnt how to recognise gemstones of some kinds, learnt abt the many grades of diamonds, learnt how to do simple admin stuffs(which i've never learnt in my whole life & i feel stupid), learnt how to string pearls together(its reallie tough!), learnt how not to join in gossips, how to be humble and learn as much as i can. all these were not taught in the classroom. i learnt how to accept pple's 'kindness', accept that the nature of human is like that and also learnt how to 'entertain' pple. i honestly dun know whether should i continue in this line, this company instead of going back to study in the polytechnics. they are offering to send me for courses if i intend to stay long. i dun noe. barely there for a month, i cant make a decision yet. wads more, i've registered to retake my o levels. let life decide for me.
like i've said, i'm retakin my o levels but i couldnt find any night classes to take me in. been running ard like idoit tryin to get myself registered into a night class. yongshu oso companied me through the 'journey'. she noe wad i went through. >.<> GOOD) tenyrseries and study at night on weekdays after work. most probably will meet yongshu at least once a week to study together. thinkin of it makes me feel excited. i'll be SO SO SO busy. kekeks. and ben will be in army. =) no choice, i've got to get used to the life whereby im only allowed to see him on weekends when he book out. so i started last week. =p im gettin by alright, jus missing him alot. i guess the same goes for him. cant wait for tml to come faster! ^^
out of a sudden, i realised that we've been together for 2 yrs and more. time flies. kekeks. whoever said that mushy stuffs will be absent from long r/s? aint gonna let it happen to mine. =D i love it when he cheers me up mushily,(lols) playin crazily like 2 lil kids. i like it when his face turns sour and gets jealous over silly things. =) and adding to it, he is now a botak head! wahahahahas. lols. i noe i shouldnt laugh but it's reallie funny. cute though. kekeks.
got something to share. something i saw on the bus and took it down on my phone. lols. on the bus, i saw this fat biatch(i noe i shouldnt use this word) came up the bus.. wordings on her shirt.. at first i though it was gonna be like "i have a jealous boyfriend(which i doubt she have one) or stuffs like that.. taking a closer look, i saw "i had a bowl of bitchiness(or bitch i cant rmb) for breakfast". ha ha. i can imagine myself telling her "i can see that on ur face but i had the biggest bowl of violence this morning for breakfast. wanna try?"
now u noe why i used the word biatch.i swear i wasnt feeling down or upset or anything negative. =pit was jus a simple MONDAY morning and i was on my way to work. ^^
ciaos.

2007-03-10T00:36:00.000+08:00

i've been so busy i haven got time to blog and i apologize about it. i've got tons of things weighin on my mind now.

i got my results in feb and i failed my c.sci and POA.
english - 3
maths - 3
chinese - 2
c.humans - 6
c.science - 7
POA - 9

failing my sci meant that i couldnt enter any polys bcuz most courses require 5 o level passes and i can only manage to pass 4. i applied for JAE(joint admission exercise) and oso the DAE(direct admission exercise), writing letters and such for ben and myself. at first, i was only worried bout ben not being able to enter a poly bcuz the courses offered to me even though i didnt like em, (all IT courses) i didnt mind. all that matters to me was he can enter any poly or course. working from mon to sat, he wouldnt even have time to apply for anything, much less to see if anything's to his liking. he didnt have much choice. but now, it seems to me that even for me, i couldnt enter poly as wad i expected. i was complacent. all the courses offered to me, for some reason i couldnt get in. i was devastated when i received my JAE letter. i broke down in tears at home. in the presence of my parents and ben. i couldnt care less. not being able to enter poly does not only affect me but my parents too. how will they think of me? they wouldnt understand even if i bothered to explain. until today, when i spoke to tim on msn, talkin to him makes me feel hopeful and at least if i reallie couldnt get into any poly, i can jus go ITE. den he said 21 points go ITE v wasteful. i couldnt care much. den i told mum and dad. at least they were quite supportive and not blame me. mum said i could apply for AMK ite if i wan. i am reallie glad that they could understand and not blame me for not being able to go poly even though my dad mention something about not studyin hard enough. tml im going to republic poly with yongshu to try my luck. wish me luck ok? i will blog after all these trouble are over with pictures. ^^

friends are angels to guide you when u're lost.

2007-01-23T15:09:00.000+08:00

i cried when i first saw this mtv.
SHE - wo ai ni.

2007-01-23T14:53:00.000+08:00

i love this song.
bai se hun li.

2007-01-23T14:49:00.000+08:00

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

2007-01-23T14:44:00.000+08:00

Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?

2007-01-23T14:37:00.000+08:00

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
Sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Bridge (guitar/piano)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah

I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

2007-01-23T13:11:00.000+08:00

all the followings are photos taken during my days working at hangten. more to come. kekeks.
started on 7thDEC, quitting on 10FEB. ^^ will miss those days working.

crazy us after work. lols. my collegue(shze ling) and mi.

i wan to kiss her. kekeks.

neat ma? im obsessed with foldin nice clothes. ^o^

im in-charge of this pile of clothes. SEE! so NEAT! wahahahahas.

happie FEET!

its kinda hard to see something on promotion so neat lors!

tank tops - minimum 3pcs $4

our nextdoor neighbour - kaili. pretty rights? ^^

tank tops yet again.

yes our pretty neighbour again.

stupid blonde. wahahhaas. my frenx put wig on me. ^^

lols. i did this and sent it to my darling to make him laugh. lols.

i look like a siao charboh. lols. crazy at work!

peek-a-boo!

slacking my life away.

2007-01-11T21:16:00.000+08:00

i apologize for not bloggin since i started work. i reallie had no time. i have so much to complain about. workin is like a daily routine for me now, but i jus went for the exit interview ytd morning. all these started on 6th Dec.

i went for interview at the headoffice. started work nx day. workin was enjoyable, in fact fun for me in the beginning. my colleagues at that outlet are real friendly. helpin me out of diff spots. if not for them, i would have broken down alot of times. i have a 1001 things to complain about, but i shall jus focus on the impt parts. my toes start to numb from all the standin. my right foot's biggest toe is numb for almost 1 wk. and 1 month after i started workin, i start to appreciate foldin clothes nicely. REALLIE! and i realised that it takes more than jus foldin to fold a stack of clothes. especially u will witness customers rummagin thru the huge stacks of clothes u jus folded neatly half a min back and could do nothing bout their rude behaviour. but i learnt that good service is impt. now, everytime i enter any selling floor of any shop, i expect good service like wad i provide to pple. i dun reallie get it everywhere. its like crap. u work for the whole day, expect a smile or at least the basic courtesy from those servin u, u get bullsh*t. now i understand. i learnt to be a good customer too. i respond to good sales asst who bothers to serve me and thus will be extremely careful in handling the clothes they sell. i wanna tell everyone readin my blog. to irritate the salesperson who refuse to serve u, RUMMAGE THROUGH THE CLOTHES HE/SHE JUST FOLDED! if not, dont ever do that. the salesperson will be more than happie to help u instead of u messing up the stacks of clothes. wad got me most pissedd off was this malay lady. she came to our store one day and bought a pair of jeans, plus alteration. i told her 7 workin days, she paid 2 bucks and went off. i rmbed clearly. dateofpurchase: 21stDEC . she came back on 27, sayin that she wans her jeans, and that she wont be ard these few days. calledd my manager, he told me to get a new one and bring it to basement and get it altered by tml. so i told her, "u'll get ur jeans tml, mdm" i paid 5 bucks to get that bloody jeans altered, bcuz i didnt noe festive season was suppose to wait 2 wks for the jeans. SO, the nx day she came back and tried the jeans. den u noe wad??? SHE SAID IT WAS TOO SHORT! i kept blamin myself that it was my fault when i measured it, thats why it was short. THEN! today i went for the trainin and realised that i was right in measurin the length. back to it, i didnt noe wad to do, my boss wasnt ard, so i jus kept apologizing. she measured it was the correct length. so she guessed it was my fault in measurin it wrongly! then my in-charge came back and took over. i stood beside him, v v v v v v pissed off but i didnt show it. it was until she said that my in-charge should teach his staff how to take measurement and that she wanna write feedback to the company. I WAS SO PISSED I WAS AFRAID I MIGHT JUS KILL HER THERE! den i couldnt bear with it animore. i went into the store and burst.

another thing that made me hate this job was this salesmanager in charge of almost all the HT stores in spore. she looks like a phillipine maid and she's one hell of a bitch. im jus a temp customer sales associates so i DUN get to enjoy RO(replacement off-days) for workin on public holidays. my in-charge didnt noe and so he wrote on the schedule that i have so many off days. he got screwed by that salesmanager when she suddenly came down to our outlet. i was so mad at her that i think it has jus reached my limits. it adds on to this incident, whereby on 2jan, dear's uncle havin chalet so i tot jus take off on 2jan. handy(my in-charge) gave me off le, that salesmanager cancelled it. FINE! i ask handy try talkin to her again. no use, she said it was a public holiday. FINE! on that day itself, she sent an email to our outlet sayin that all store-in-charge and 2nd in-charge are not supposed to be off on 2jan. SO! i ask handy, "only SIC and 2ndSIC cannot off, i can off right?" den he say ya. I WAS LIKE WTH! den i asked den why she didnt wanna give me. he jus replied, "simply bcuz she doesnt wan to." and u noe wad, SHE DID NOT GRANT ME OFF DESPITE ME LYING TO HER THAT I BOUGHT AIRTICKETS TO MALAYSIA FOR MY GRANDFATHER'S DEATH ANNIVERSARY! imagine i reallie did buy tickets to malaysia. WHAT A BITCH. i will be back to continue tml. TML'S MY OFF! =p

2006-11-30T18:51:00.001+08:00

ytd, shixian, darren, zhiwei and i went down to orchard buy swensen's cake to celebrate yongshu's bday. can see she's reallie suprised.. ^^ den after that, took a cab down to dear's hse. early this morning he go work le. all alone at his hse, i feel like im wastin my time away. quite saddening to see everyone else ard me to be workin and im like wastin time away. reach hm ard 5 plus, online. chatted with chonglin and toby. chonglin in NS and toby goin in soon. NS is a killer! was talking to toby bout dance, den everything in the past like come back to me. hais. i never wanted something so badly. but i dun wish to let history repeat itself. i wanna go back to dance, but i dun wan to be the subject of gossip like b4. toby told me that its all in the past, that ive got to move on & dun keep lookin back into the past but im jus afraid of the same thing repeating again. hais.

give me a reason to give up dancing.

2006-11-30T17:44:00.000+08:00

im tugging at my hair,
im pulling at my clothes.
im tryin to keep my cool,
i know it shows.
im staring at my feet,
my cheeks are turning red.
im searching for the words inside my head.

cuz im feeling nervous,
tryin to be so perfect,
cuz i know u're worth it,
u're worth it.
yeah.

if i could say wad i wanna say,
i'ld say i wanna blow u.. away.
be with u everynight,
am i squeezing u too tight.
if i could see wad i wanna see,
i wanna see u go down on one knee.
marry me today.
guess im wishing my life away..
with these things i'll never say.

2006-11-29T14:41:00.000+08:00

Nickelback - this is how u remind me.
now its 2:30pm and i jus woke up. blah wad a pig.couldnt slp last night. after winning bout 7 bucks from my bro from poker,i tried to slp at 3am. my bro snoring away, i still couldnt slp.puff a few sticks, still couldnt slp.dunno wads wrong. den finally gave up, start to pack my sec sch books.the piles of books-cum-comics beside my bed is finally cleared.i dread to think of clearing my table. >.<>

kristie calledd this morning and woke me up.she forgot to bring the application form benji filled up for me.asked for my particulars and such.it feels great to noe that there's a job waitin for u.(please dont reject my application!)if i got it, i'll be a nurse! haaz!jus bcuz i'll be workin at clinic.*imaging the pay....................lols.i was suppose to wake up at 8 today to company mummy to sumwhr.end up,her naggings and the alarm couldnt wake me up.ate dou jiang you tiao. its been so long since i ate you tiao!should i clean up my room, clean up xiaomao's cat litter or jus waste the time online?i'm jus passing time, waitin for evening. ^^ tml is yongshu's bday!and today, shixian calledd me last night sayin tat today they celebratin yongshu's bday at orchard. cuz she workin at topshop ma.10.30 at orchard. sians.. so much time to spare till 10.30pm..i guess i better go clean up my room b4 my mum goes crazy.(its been messy before o levels begins.) =D
ciaos.

2006-11-28T20:18:00.000+08:00

zi lian de wo.. wahahahas..

dawn & i at vivocity. ^^

yes yes once again zi lian de wo..

me & my baobeii xiaoMAO

baby dymien yawning.. ^^

preparin for prom at shixian's hse. ^^

ZI LIAN! =D

my sweetie & i at 85 market. ^^

my last day in school u. ))=

2006-11-27T18:29:00.000+08:00

photos we took at prom night..
still got so many others couldnt upload online..
>.<

my darling & mii

my class de girls.. ^^

kaihui & ii

my pretty girls!~

my best of the best pals! ^^

WIB = women in black.. wahahahahs.

2006-11-20T10:52:00.001+08:00

o levels over.. i am so glad it's finally over.. 5 yrs of studying makes me mad.. but in another way, it's a way to keep mii protected.. haiz.. have to find work and reallie work hard.. cant play hard like before le.. 5 yrs of "torture", *poof* its over.. come to think of it, i still prefer studying den working.. at least, i didnt have to worry abt havin not enough to spend and such.. i jus have to worry abt the nx destination im heading to have fun.. today's paper lasted only 1 hr, i spent 34 mins on the paper, 5 mins in the toilet, 21 mins tryin to rmb deyi's sch hall.. thinkin back of the memories in that "prison".. tears and laughters.. will reallie miss it. =) now, i cant afford to keep indulgin in my own world, i have to learn to accept the world and move with it.. hell it sucks! +.+ please please let me get a good job, i promise i will not run off after one day! o.o i can only pray for good job, more money and await for my change!~ =D

pray for mii pls!

prom night this friday.. hees.. the day we're waiting for.. but sadly, no matchin heels or handbag.. o.O i should have shopped more this yr.. kristie lent me her dress, the dress i've NEVER EVER dreamt of wearing it.. BUT lols.. i finally got to wear it, summore to the prom. hahas.. so happie.. but kinda weird lehs.. lols.. will update photos soon.. ^o^
im hungry, mummy's cooking smells great.. i intended to go on a hunger strike, (the dress is damn tight-fit) but i think i cant take it even though the strike only lasted 4 hrs.. =x

pray for mii k? hees.

2006-11-17T00:58:00.000+08:00

its been a week, so many things has happened.. i dunno how to put it, but im kinda stressed out now.. haiz!

HAO FAN WORS!

reallie hope can see daphy soon. i think i got too many stuffs buggin me le.. need my daphy to share my upsets.. haiz..
o levels is finishing soon.. 2 more papers.. finally started abit on poa, but after doing the paper, i thought that it would have been better if i dun take the paper.. haix.. tml is poa paper 1 and i dun think i have any confidence AT ALL lors! hais..

i though o levels finishin will be a new start, but guess wad, even b4 it ends, it's a start of new problems..

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mayb im jus not mature enough to handle this kinda things smoothly.. hais..
dad wans me to send xiaomao away.. HAIZ! how the hell would i be able to give her to some1 else? hais..
i dunno why am i so fan.. haiz.. its all my fault right from the beginning.. hais..

life goes on.. hais..

quoted this from the movie cast away ::
i have to keep breathing, tomorrow the sun will still rise.
who knows what the tide might br

2006-11-10T00:29:00.000+08:00

so sorrie haven had the time to blog for so long..

busy with o levels, so many things has happened.

i learnt to play counter strike after so long.
o levels is almost finishing.
i almost died studyin through the night.
the nx day i sit for the paper, i realised that,
last min studyin is no good.
got a new phone, new line, new life i hope.
i did many bad things,
and good stuffs at the same time.
i learnt to control,
control my tears.
mayb im too stressed out.
hais.

wish exams will end faster..
tml's maths paper2.
wish me luck. =(

PS: Parry Gala Dinner on 18 Nov, 7-10pm
-Deyi 2006 Prom Night at Yishun Safra 21 Nov, 7pm.

2006-10-23T14:04:00.000+08:00

dearie and i on mrt.. sweet ma? kekes.

lols.. my dearie so ke ai!

me carrying deardear's cat.
PUMPKIN.
cute isnt she?

lols. crazy me.

my ke ai xiao mao sleeping on my lap
while i'm using comp.
^^

the side of me u'll never understand.

baby and i.. sweet?

katong shopping centre.
sweet love. *smooches!

katong shopping centre.
lols.

zi lian de me.. lolx.

happiness. ^^

see that pimple on my nose?
god it tortured me for few weeks!

sweet ba!~

two fattys.. =D

silly boy and silly girl. (=

me with green specs..
weird ma?

2006-10-23T13:01:00.000+08:00

so long since i last blog.. shall update abit..

11 Oct(wed) ::
graduation day. great i graduated from sec sch finally! but it's kinda sad. lols. i went ard the whole sch lookin for teachers to take pictures with. was tryin to update it on blogger but itx so difficult to use.. >.< cried while talking to my sec 1 and 2 form teacher.. Mrs Foo. she was the one who guided me through my lower sec life. =) thank u mrs foo! den stay over at dear's hse.. going out with his frenz..

12 Oct(thurs) ::
maths tuition// STRESS!

13 Oct(fri) ::
the first time i ever tried playing counter strike @ katong!!! FUN! lols.. dear and i walk ard while waiting for them and some dist from katong shopping centre, dear was telling me that this place is v complicated den we saw 2 police walking into this (i forgot wads the name of the shopping centre) building den the next thing we saw was hilarious. LOL. so many pple start to run out from the back alley of the building and by the look of it, many of them were illegal prostitutes. we jus stood there watching the drama. lols. den this woman ran pass us telling us that there's police.. lols. i was like laughin my ass off lors.. =x

14 Oct(sat) ::
dear dear pei me go home i forgot for wad le, den at night we went to tamp for smelly tofu and ramly burger!~ *YUMMY! =D

14 Oct(sat) ::
went to bugis for starhub MSH company for training.. thinkin back, i felt stupid to be cheated into believing that this job was actually do-able. >.<

16 Oct(mon) ::
went back to sch for english remedial. celebrated dawn'x birthday. yongshu's grandma pass away on 15 oct so she didnt come to sch on mon. went to play pool at amk central after that. fun!~ =D at night, went to bugis for work.. telemarketing! reach at 7pm, briefing till 8. i tell u, THAT IS THE MOST DISCOURAGING JOB I'VE EVER DONE!
i made 60 over calls, no sales at all, pple hanging their phone on me! i was like so mentally tired at the end of the day~ 60 over calls within 2 hrs, it seems impressing. but wad's more impressing was that, there's only one malay new comer who made 30 (compare the no. of calls) calls and managed to get 1 sale. i dunno wad do u call it, unlucky or jus plain unfair!! at the end of it, after i knew wad was actually going on, i felt so CHEATED! 1000 bucks per month, 2o sales per month. how the **** was that actually possible! wads more the leads they gave me were recycled leads lors.. which means tat pple has already called to asked about SCV and i'm calling for the-god-knows-how-many-times and it explains why pple are pissed. i had enough of it. dear was with keith at bedok north, no chance of me calling to complain to him. so i walk over to bugis village, look for levi and start tiu-ing. thank god levi didnt join me for the job. so now, my hopes for a good, short-hr job are gone. a nice dress for graduation night? hais all hopes lost.. *urghs. and i dunno am i cursed or wad. why do i keep getting jobs which i'll only do for one day and disappear. went home after talking to levi. journey home wasnt good too, i tot i was going to faint on the mrt, feeling nauseous and everything. thank god i lasted till my stop, got down and bought a soya bean drink. hais. ITS HARD TO LOOK FOR A NICE JOB NOWADAYS AND NOT BE CHEATED!

17 Oct(tues) ::
dear went to sch, i went down to look for him afterwards. maths tuition after that at 5pm.

19 Oct(thrus) ::
science pratical was quite alrights. went home den went down to look for dearie.

-god i jus realised we haven studied much on these few days! >.<

20 Oct(fri) ::
went to borrow american pie the wedding and watch at keith's hse.. dear dear and his frenz played soccer at keith's voiddeck, from 12 plus to 3 plus in the morning..

21 Oct(sat) ::
went down to granny's place at ard 3 plus, granny went to slp le.. =p aniways, dad and mum went out den dear and i brought my bro for a walk at bedok inter. supposed to watch rob-b-hood but i guess no more on screen le.. ate KFC (YUMMY!) aniways, in the end, keith and chang came down den we went to katong for lan games!~ SWEET! it was pure fun! my bro and i had great time! den we went back to bedok, bought cigs, slack ard den my bro and i slept over at dearie's hse..

22 Oct(sun) ::
mum needed her deepavali and hari raya drawings so no choice, we woke up at 8 plus, den went back to my hse and did summore amendments to make it nicer, mum went out. dear and i watch a few vcds and den cook lunch-dinner at ard 4 plus. lolx. ~fun! both of us fell asleep till 9 plus i woke up and watch the matrix a lil bit den wake dearie up. went down for a smk, it was near 11 by the time dear was leaving. went home, read harry potter b4 falling asleep..

AND!

this morning i woke up, realising that my hp line's been cut off. >.< i didnt noe that 3 days for termination of line so fast! great! now i'm uncontactable.. o.o anyways, shall upload some photos.. =D be back later..

2006-10-05T19:29:00.000+08:00

this is baby dymien.. cute huhx? hees..
this is my baby.. wahahahahahs.. naughty mao mao.. =D

shall update more..

2006-10-01T23:11:00.000+08:00

wed went by smoothly. thurs i became a kaypoh and it became sum1 else'x inconvenience. friday i oso kaypoh and cuz myself to be so upset. >.<

wednesday :: played pe, had so much FUN! captainball with my class. quite a few nv play but it was pure fun!

thursday :: supposed to go down find dear but end up dear go est with chang, keith and nabil. den he came to my hse look for me. quarrelled v badly. )= den there is this uncle who'x always at my void deck walkin his dog, shouting "ooi ooi ooi" at his dog, disturbin the neighbours for 3 mnthx. i was very angry at that moment so i kaypoh and told dear i wanna ask the uncle wadz wrong. the uncle didnt even ans me, he asked me not to disturb him and he scolded me vulgar languages. the dog he had is VERY VERY beautiful. later on i found out that the dog had the same name as dear's cat, pumpkin. =x den back to the story, the uncle started to walk away den i asked the dog to stay. the stupid uncle jus walk away shouting, thinkin that the dog willfollow. she was so scared of the uncle lors. cut short story. so end up, i called the police, the uncle engage in a v fierce fight of pulling the leash of the dog.he lost, walk away. police came, took our particulars, took dog back to hougang npc. the uncle's wife came down, explained that the uncle got a stroke one yr back den since then, every night he have to bring the dog, which acted like a pet therapy, for a walk. he oso have to drink beer which may bethe reason of his strange behaviour. den we accompanied the auntie to the hougang npc get back the dog, (which probably is unnecessary if not for my kaypohness)den her son came to fetch us home.

friday :: it'x discussion about our school graduation dinner. early morning came to sch, everyone talking bout it. at first alot of pple dun wish to go den my clique oso dun wanna go le. end up, after discussing among ourselves, we are still going. so i decided, since so little pple going, i might try to persuade some others to go to make the whole event more enjoyable. so firstly i targetted the boys bcuz mostly if one go, the others will follow. shall not go into details but persuading them means so much more than talking. it takes much "face" and money in this situation. i broke down into tearsafter much persuasion and rejections, i couldnt take it. dawn, shixian, yongshu of course couldnt bear to see me take this kinda shit. mayb i jus wasnt used to rejection, it's breaks me up inside thinkin that the class is so un-united. quite a few apologized but it wasnt even their fault. den end of the day,a few who rejected me decided to go but quite alot of problems. 1) it cost us $35 but we are supposed to pay up within less than a week. many others' allowances all used up. 2) diff cliques, some dislike some outcasts. poorthing. but it is up to me to arrange so that it suits everyone'x request of "i-dun-wan-to-sit-with-...". it sux lar, especially if u have almost more than 3/4 of the class dislikin these few pple. terrible job, solved it at end of the day, with lotsa help from dawn, shu, xian and darren; and those pple who have "special requests".

saturday :: at dearie's hse since friday night, didnt go outx. >.<>

sunday :: went to tampines inter walk walk with dear's uncle and 2 aunties, cousin. bought a SUPERDUPER good bargain, sunglasses at tm inter. and u noe wad?i tot i saw ueii at starhub service lehx! i tot i almost died lehs! wah lau. but hor, after a few glances, i confirm that isnt him. 1) ueii is about 185 whilethat guy is only slightly taller than me. 2) ueii much more good lookin. mayb it's bcuz the impression he gave me when i was in sec 1 is rather different than now that i'm older. lolx. whatever. dear seems kinda pissed when i told him. now i'm back home blogging. today is children's day. wish me happie children'x day ba! hahas.tml is school day, time to start working hard for o levels. this feeling sux. >.<

2006-09-26T23:08:00.000+08:00

dunno where to start from.. aniways.. feel so much better.. but monday blues still there..

mmondayy :: stomach pain due to auntie, went to sch unwillingly. happen to know this unhappie thing which leave me feeling blue for the rest of the day. it's regardin this v good fren of mine who i see her as my younger sis. long story which dates back to last yr. aniways, ma girls and i got into a conflict with this female dog bcuz of that gd fren of mine. all along i knew that she became to be on good terms with that female dog and on monday, i askedd her how did she became so close with that FD so fast. i mean she was the one who got us into trouble with that FD and now she'x all so good with her. den the nx thing i'm puzzled is, i know her since she step into this sch den i dun understand why she could forsake our friendship so easily. the things she said reallie cut deep into my heart. how did she became like this, i didnt noe. after sch i went over to dear's place, companied him to cut hair. he look nicer with shorter hair. *i'm thinkin of cutting my hair too. >.<>.<
todayy :: went to sch, recess time went to find her to talk it over. i know i have no right to ask her not to be frenz with whoever. we had a short talk, i didnt noe wad else to say to her. jus told her to be careful of her frenz. den sch went by smoothly, went home after sch. wanted to go down look for dear den cut hair but end up didnt have enough to cut hair. >.<>
OH! i suddenly rmbed that we went fishing last sat! lols. of course it's me who suggested it. pure fishin no drinkin. =D but we had great fun. it's at the reservior, on this platform thingie which is floating. >.<
mum and dad coming home soon. gotta go bath again. so smelly! =x hope dearie's feeling better. miss u so much! *smooches.

2006-09-24T22:26:00.000+08:00

suddenly, feel so fed up.. wanna scream out loud. restricted, lock up in my own world. it'x simple little things that happens which follow on to different thinkings i'm fed with, same reaction. i can only act dumb. little things they do not realised that they are hurting me, little things which i mind so badly. i wanna cry, my emotions running high. i dunno why cant i stay happie always.. i hate these pple who make me feel upset. it'x a love and hate situation and it's killing me. dont they ever realise that i'm hurting too? they seem oblivious towards my change, my behaviour. i'm drifting away from them. dont they ever realise that? sometimes i wonder is my life out to make a joke outta me or am i still the one in control of my life? all these built up in my heart and sometimes i feel, i'm affected in a way that i'm different from before when i treat pple now bcuz of the awful things they make me see in life. it makes me feel so sick of life sometimes. i'm tryin my best to avoid them, tryin to keep them happie but nothing i do is enough to satify them. at the same time, i cant break down. i'm holding on tightly to this love hate relationship we are having and if i break down, i noe it'x the end of us. it's like hanging on to this thin thread, thinkin that if i hang on long enough, miracle will happen. i cant let go, neither can i throw tantrums. my life is up to how i react.
i'm losing it.

2006-09-24T21:59:00.000+08:00

a thousand apologies to all those visiting my blog.. haven got time to blog recently plus my stupid comp siao de, blog halfway everything gone..i noe my sweetie girl misses me. =X hahaas. >.< aniways, shall update wad happened last week and this week..
last wk 13 sept, kristie gave birth to baby dymien!!! ^o^ so happie! ben couldnt get his hands off dymien!tat day after my previous entry, quarrelled again with ben. *upset. but after tat we sort things out and he did silly things and it cheered me up. =) been going over to see baby dymien these few days and quite alot of things happened.. (dun wanna elaborate)i forgot when was it we went to eat sakae sushi at the airport and I SWEAR, i wanna go back to eat sakae again! =pi wanted to take a picture of wad the 6 of us ate, it'x SCARY! =x but the waiter has to clear it, the food keep coming.. =Dthis week nothing much happened.. the week went by smoothly for me but i had some thoughts i wanna pen down.
.pussycatdollies - buttons.

i finally could accept pple for who they are and stop being stubborn thinking that life is made to suit me. change myself is what i'm gonna do. =) but for the time being, i jus have to stick with simple me and work hard for o levels.. but after o levels, hees.. ^o^ all hell break lose..
now my first piority is -> studies.
next -> the change.
then -> DANCE!

i noe he will be with me through everything.. *smiles. thank u for everything sweetie.

2006-09-13T22:20:00.000+08:00

sians.. tml got chemistry paper nv study.. >.<>

alot of stuffs are weighin on my mind right now.. i think the feeling is gone.. finally and i can talk comfortably to him le.. i used to be very confused over it and after talkin to daphy, i use my own theories to heal my wounds.. =) i hope he will be happie whatever he's doin now.. and even though it's over, it stays as sweet memories.. =)

cant wait for weekends to be here.. xD i wan to learn lan games and i wan to go fisherman village! ^o^

wait awhile.. emergency!

2006-09-13T17:25:00.000+08:00

didnt meet him as scheduled.
came home after sch.
jus quarrelled with him.
dunno why suddenly blew my top.
lost my temper, hais.
wo bu zhi dao ying gai ji xu ma..
i'm sorrie bout jus now.
but at least, now i noe,
i cant expect too much from u.

hais.
wo bu zhi dao wo dao di wei she mer hui zhe yang..
*___wohaishihuixiangta+

2006-09-13T14:08:00.000+08:00

TODAY IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!

last night i couldnt slp dunno bcuz of wadd and only fell asleep at 3am after reading harry potter, eating some mi gua xi mi lu, smk few ciggies. >.< den woke up at near to 5 and at 6a.35am,35mins after my alarm went off. den rushed through everything and met sxian smk den go busstop. SUDDENLY,i remebered tat i forgot to bring my jacket. THEN,i found out that i forgot to bring my contact lenses too. and i was having my maths paper2 prelims and physics paper2 TODAY! i freaked out.

maths paper was ok, quite disappointing. urgh. even after tuition ytd, couldnt do quite a few sums. AND U NOE WAD! the stupid calculator i bought to sch has EMPTY batteries! darn! i did some of them with mental calculation and left the calculator part till i borrowed one from mrchia(myPEteacher).and i'm darnedd pissedd with my form teacher.mrsYUSOFF.when i told her i didnt bring my contact lenses to sch, she jus shrugged it out and say "wad can i do?" WAH LAU! at tat moment i jus felt like slapping her. argh!

physics totally buang! no need much elaboration ba.. ^^

drew my name on a spare piece of paper turn out quite nice. =D

kristie jus gave birth to a baby boy!! ^o^ ben didnt go sch for his practical exams cuz he's late so he went with his mum to hospital. =) bet her baby's VERY VERY CUTE! hees.aniways, i'm bloggin in sch and jus edited my blog's template. think it's nicer now ba? hees. meetin dear dear later. will blog again.

_____*wishing on that shining star.+

2006-09-12T01:31:00.000+08:00

cute without the e (acoustic version) - Taking Back Sunday

Your lipstick, his collar.. don't bother AngelI know exactly what goes on
When everything you'll get iseverything that you've wanted, princess(well which would you prefer)My finger on the trigger, or(me face down, down across your floor)Me face down, down across your floor(me face down, down across your floor)Well just so long as this thing's loaded
And will you tell all your friendsyou've got your gun to my headThis all was only wishful thinkin,this all was only wishful thinkinlet's go...
Don't bother trying to explain AngelI know exactly what goes on when you're on andHow about I'm outside of your window(how about I'm outside of your window)Watchin him keep the details coveredYou're such a sucker (you're such a sucker)for a sweet talker, yeah
And will you tell all your friendsyou've got your gun to my headThis all was only wishful thinkin,this all was only wishful thinkin(the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back)
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happensA thousand clever lines unread on clever napkinsI wil never ask if you don't ever tell meI know you well enough to know you never loved me (x3)
Why can't I feel anythingfrom anyone other than you?Why can't I feel anythingfrom anyone other than you?
And all of this was all your faultAnd all of this
(I stay jealous)I stay wrecked and jealous for this,for this simple reasonI just need to keep you in mindas something larger than life(she'll destroy us all before she's throughand find a way to blame somebody else)I stay wrecked and jealous for this,for this simple reasonI just need to keep you in mindas something larger than life(she'll destroy us all before she's throughand find a way to blame somebody else)I stay wrecked and jealous for this,for this simple reasonI just need to keep you in mindas something larger than life!

hees.. both of us love this song.. =)
this is my first post but i wanna keep it short..
i love u baby but sometimes i know i'm unreasonable.
but there's always a reason behind everything.
tats wad i strongly believe.
i hope things will go smoothly between us.
i wan us to last long long too.
reallie miss those long hours i spend by ur side,
day and night.
those laughters we have.
i miss u baby. ^^

new blog, new life.
new things to biatch about.
will blog again tml.
*smooches to darling
hugs to my ke ai girl.
dun think too much.
think of me. =D
wakakakaka!
smooches to u too girl.
stay happie and cheerful always!